Addicted to Ink

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

movin' on

I've read that when you're fasting for an extended period of time, your truest issues - even those you thought you've already dealt with - come to the surface. Then that becomes part of your fast - dealing with those issues and moving on.

Though I haven't been fasting from food (at least most days), I feel as though I've worn myself out (fasting from rest?). That's hard for me to do - I have a very high tolerance, but I think I'm just about there. All of the things I'm working on and working towards and celebrating are (mostly) wonderful things that I deeply enjoy, I will just be glad again for rest... .

And why is it that issues that I thought I'd worked through are coming to light again? I feel myself constantly, insecurely questioning if my efforts are good enough: with work, with my sister, with my husband, with my friends, with my writing, with my... everything. That is not the person I want to be.

I want to be someone who is confident - because I have done my best. I have given everything I could - in some cases more than I could.

So... deal with the issues & move on, right?


Blogger Heather said...

Perhaps you feel a sense of apprehension about your comings and goings precisely because you are doing so much of it. Trying to take care of a lot of different things with all of your effort is nearly impossible. You don't have "all" in you to give. Something has to give way at some point. This is not a bad thing, just practical.

11:36 AM  

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